Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Target Lair

Last night I was a Target, minding my own business, looking for some knives and forks. I have some heavy entertaining to do over the weekend, and while I trust my maid completely, this was something I wanted to do myself. I was standing around in the aisle, mulling over the decision- frosted or shiny forks?

Anyway, this older gentleman walks over and tells me he likes “it”, referring to the frosted forks. I was like really? I’m trying to make up my mind…He proceeded to tell me which kind he recently bought for his new house, etc. He told me he was recently divorced and setting up house on his own and how much fun that was…blah, blah, basically telling me how he had it going on.

So I was like if the package is so tight, why did he get divorced. He claims that the ex-wifey quit wanting to have sex, and I was like well you must not have been handling your business then.
So then here are the lies he responded with: He stated that they used to have sex EVERY single night 4-5 times a night and that she used to come every single time, but that she just had “issues” with sex… YEAH right! LIAR. LIAR. I don’t believe that is humanly possible, unless he was on some meds!

At this point I wanted to start moving away from the man cuz I just knew a bolt of lighting was going to strike him where he stood for the lies!!! When I told him I had to be going, he said I was exactly his type and that could he get the number…I have to say I was flattered cuz its not like I was looking super fly and I do have a thing for older guys…But I do loathe liars and pepetrators and his dick is probably going to fall off due to all the lies the man was telling…

But I am just curious how many times can the average guy do it in a night and how many times in a month? Can anyone really do the do EVERY single day?

5 comments:

ozaveshe said...

i havent read it yet.
just want to be the 1st to comment

lemme go read it now

ozaveshe said...

oh yeah.

of course some of us can. and actually do.
oh! do u mean in real life? er...sweet virginal me can't answer that

bArOquE said...

well some of us r not so 'virginal'; as average as i think i am, i wld go 3x a night but it wld most likely be one of those one off nights not with a wife/live-in girlfriend.
that guy is full of fibs!

Unknown said...

yes, some men can and do. It's one of the prerequisites for being my boyfriend, i refuse to be viewed as a nympho by my partner, so you kinda have to have delivered consistently before I publicly claim you

kokolette said...

i don't think its possible
EVERY night? and so many times?...hell no!